holy monkies. what a crazy month this has been. just when i thought things were gonna look up and 2012 would be my year to conquer, bad luck seems to be around the corner. much like last year, in fact, the same month- i experienced a streak of bad luck. thankfully it isn’t as bad this year but still nonetheless sucks ass. despite my spirits being down and some things not going right for me- i still have my friends and family for support.

things could be worse. being a nurse had changed my perspective on life. i mean, i could be diagnosed with leukemia, my organs could be failing, i lose a limb or finding out only i have 2-3 days to live. my problems seem so tiny compared to what patients have to go through.

i am so grateful for all my friends and family. they have given me nothing but love, support and their patience. more than that, they are there to help pick me up when i felt like i couldn’t stand up and face the day.

everyday is a new beginning.

I’m definitely not your typical. I consider myself quite straight up and honest. If something is on my mind, I will tell you. Not in a rude and bitchy way, but in a more kind way. Sometimes, I will say it like a bitch because most of the time the person is being a fucking douche bag. 

Relationships wise…If I’m attracted to someone, I want to hear that they’re attracted to me too! I want to know that they’re also interested! What a waste of time. If you want something, you need to go for it. Things don’t come easily. Often times, I’ll get so fed up with waiting around that I just dismiss the idea completely and move on. Playing it cool doesn’t do shit. Even if you’re playing games, playing it cool just makes you look like a complete moron. 

As much as people don’t want it to happen, playing games always seem to happen in the very beginning. I don’t believe playing games should go on forever, it should get the ball rolling when it comes to meeting someone new and getting to know them. Playing games does not always mean playing hard to get. Never play so hard to get. You want them to be interested and intrigued by you. You want the mystery there. But once you know that there could be potential. STOP THE GAMES IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT. IMMEDIATELY! You need to ALWAYS be straight up and honest at all times. Playing games doesn’t mean lying either. 

I remember every time a guy would play hard to get. It gets incredibly annoying and unattractive and is one of the main reasons why I’ve stopped talking to so many guys who are probably perfectly datable, but just play it so hot and cold. When I like someone, I tell them. If I want to hang out with someone and spend time with somebody, I’ll probably bring it up once or twice. “The answer is always no if you don’t ask”.

When mixed signals and when they play hot and cold. UGH, BITCH PLEASE- you’re are so not the struggle and effort. Playing it cool often times creates this unattractive phase. RECIPROCATE, if not, GTFO. If there is someone that you are absolutely intrigued by, be proactive about pursuing them. Or else, it WILL be too late because they would’ve moved on and found another. Twice in a row this has happened to me. I was such chicken shit and was scared of rejection (frig, everyone is) and when I had assurance that I wouldn’t get rejected and decide to pursue something..BAM! It was too late, they went and found another. I ended up sitting in a pool of regrets and thinking what could have been. Bad mother fuckin’ timing

What I’m trying to say is, if you are interested in someone, let them know. If you are attracted to somebody, spill the fucking beans. If they feel the same, they’ll be more than happy to hear it! And if they don’t, what’s the worst that’s going to happen? You move the fuck on. There will always be someone for you. Don’t chase. Replace. 

I use to hate rejection. Now, I feel like rejection is the only way you can grow from the experience and it actually helps you see what you really want in a partner. Stop being afraid of rejection or of people thinking that you’re uncool because you failed to act a certain way — confidence is sexy! Be honest with yourself and, in turn, be honest with the people that you care about. You’re only wasting your own time by not being yourself.

Juss sayin’